Autumn,

I often look back fondly at the photos you sent. I can see myself in you, as I saw my mother in me, a beautiful mixture of past and present. You are a rare beauty and I can say with certainty you eclipse your mother’s radiance by an indeterminate order of magnitude. I wonder at your heart and with myself the only reference, I try to recall how I was at your age.

Do you also enjoy the way the wind blows through your hair?

Do you ever sit and ponder the vastness of the cosmos?

Do you have volume control issues when you get excited or passionate about something?

Are you also a hopeless romantic, looking for that elusive moment when two connect?

Do you doodle when you’re bored on the edges of your papers?

Are you a side sleeper like me?

Do you have dark days too, when the world feels heavy and subdued, promising rain?

Do you get anxious and impatient, just wanting to move yesterday?

Is it a circus in your head as well?

Do you have thoughts racing through your mind that keep you from sleeping?

I wonder at your personality, who the woman is, and where the child ends. I know life has given you many scars, emotional and more, and I am to blame for the absence that hurt you. There is no way to fully explain save with relationship, communication, and time. I see you in every interaction, every laughter I share with another I think of you. Each time another day comes I pray today would be the day I hear your voice.

The silence is swollen with regret and I remain, ever waiting, ever watching, and ever praying for a new mercy. I have become intimately familiar with patience, and with disappointment. Such sweet savors the soul soured with hope denied.

In each and every language known and unknown my soul considers you, praying to the Father on your behalf. I am about to go to bed now my love, and I want you to know I’m thinking of you, sending my love.

Eiri