Confessions of Dust: Stronger in Truth

Today I was working in Raleigh during the first NC State game of the year, picking up game-goers throughout the day. Near the end of my shift, I gave a ride to two college players from the team. They reminded me of my own youth, and soon we were talking about lifting weights. They noticed my build and were impressed, and when they asked how much I bench, I wanted to keep their admiration. I thought that if I told them the truth — that I usually work with far less weight — they might think less of me. So I padded the number, a lot.

Even as the words left my mouth, I felt the choice and my failure. I let my desire to look cool speak louder than honesty, and afterward I knew I had broken my own heart by betraying truth for a lie. These small exaggerations happen more often than I’d like to admit, slipping out easily, unnoticed by others but not by God. Out of that heaviness, this prayer was born.

Join me, my friends,

as we push back against the forces of darkness —

with praise and prayer.

Holy Father,

Today was hard.

I sinned.

I caught myself in the act,

and because of pride I lied —

to myself, to another, to You.

I made it seem

as if Your goodness

wasn’t enough for me,

as if I needed to gild it with

embellishment,

so I might appear as more.

Forgive me.

Forgive my failures

when You are so good,

to me, to everyone, to the world.

Forgive my ego, our pride,

and most of all, forgive me

for mistaking You as small,

for portraying You as limited

by my smallness.

And not only me, Father —

we come before You as One.

We lift a digital praise,

shared through readings,

intent joined with heart.

In stillness, we acknowledge You.

In stillness, we abide.

We thank You for You.

For being enough.

For keeping us in You.

For being our strength in weakness.

For loving us —

Yeshua, the Letter

signed in blood,

risen.

We ask for more of You.

For courage to continue,

to speak of You even when it isn’t cool,

to praise You opposite popularity.

We ask that You live in us,

that we might be little lights

shining in this present darkness.

We entrust ourselves to You.

Walking in uncertainty at times,

but always on Faith’s foundation,

resting in arms eternal.

Yours we are, and Yours we remain.

Amen.