Silent scream
The slow death of self
The slow death of Self
Who Once I was is no more, it languishes in its own depravity
Longing for the years that have passed by, I realize that within me lies a cavity
A hole that was made through anguish and pain, knowing not that I am free
Bound in chain; and losing grip on the fabric of life, soul, purpose, reality
I scream silent within; can you not see my bondage?
My self-inflicted solicitude, the years coupled with those so saddened tears
Am I a shadow flitting through the shade of weeping willows, harps adorned
Am I broken, despised, no mission, no cause, do I endure only to be scorned?
Seeking love, I move to and fro’ and yet peace I, since have not known
I am chained and shackled, bound in this destitute tent of flesh
How can I return? Having been cast aside; how can I heal when the wound has but grown?
What does this make me, an aberration, a pariah, an outcast within this world’s mesh?
Sorrow has filled my being, and I lost all description of mine own condition
I am as nothing, sand blown upon the winds of time, from dust and to dust returning
I can claim no title, no solace, only a loss of purpose and these lives mission
I tenderly trickle tears down cheeks that none can see, within dying my essence burning
What can I utter ever so silently; save that I am in need of Salvation?
What can I claim except that I must, as ever and always, abstain?
From all that would make my heart glad, and enter into the dreary realm of the dead
Fuck, I am so tired of sleeping, I am so weary of this hopelessness and my own chains repeating
What am I that I should have purpose, I am as dust blown on whispering winds
As a single tear shed amongst the ripping torrents of a gale force hurricane
As a final breath escaping from the lips of a dying man, never to be again
Oh my soul, why are you so downcast within me, I am grieved at you, at me
I lift my heavy head and wounded eyes, blinded and despised, to heaven
Where my hope dwells and in such wherefore my soul shall one day arise
To whisper silently words lost to all but my love, my God, to Jesus Christ
“I thank you my Lord for this wretched flesh and life and for your promise of eternity”
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This piece is part of my book The Seven Thunders.
Available now on Amazon — and free with Kindle Unlimited.